又是伤心的时刻

不知道为什么，每个月总会有一段时刻是我最不开心，最想有个人来安慰的时刻，也不懂是为什么，我在闹情绪？也许吧...时间越长，我就觉得我身边真的没有一个朋友是无时无刻记得我的！有些不太熟悉的朋友说，你就好呀，每天都有不同的人围绕在你身边！其实，不是，只是我们彼此都在找朋友解闷！不是嘛？可是我没有他们那么幸运，有所谓的兄弟陪伴他们，我？没有一个，是我自己不信任他人，还是他人对我没兴趣？不懂，开始觉得自己的人缘很差。也许真的是问题出现在我身上吧。可是我能怎样？如果我改变了，你们还会有哪个兴趣去懂我嘛？我想你们只会更加远离我，不是吗？那些曾经告诉我，会一直呆在我身边的人，其实你们只是在安慰我，每次当我真的需要你们是，你们在哪里？一路以来，我真的走的好累，到底到什么时候，我才能找到我的知音？不懂，也许要很久，也许根本就不存在。一个我从小学就认识的朋友到大学，我们一直都就读同一间学校，不是约定是巧合！原本我以为她是我唯一可以完全信赖，依赖的朋友，可是在一个不知不觉的情况下，我才知道自己在她心里原来是这样的人，我真感谢那个告诉我的人！妈说的对，对朋友别太过好，因为我们不懂谁是在珍惜我们，谁是在利用我们的。对，最近我开始发现我一直不断为朋友付出的，得到的是他们不珍惜，那种心痛，谁能了解？我真的走的好累，还想有个依靠！谁会是真正了解我的人？我真的不懂了，也许我一直以来把真实的自己给关闭起来是对的！其实有一个我能信赖的他，可是我不想因为我的事情而麻烦了他。每次每次我有事情，他总会很用心聆听，然后给我意见，又是圣至骂我呢，可是到最后他还是会告诉我，他会永远待在我身边陪伴我！CHEN KAH SOON，真的谢谢你了！我也很高兴你会分享你的事情给我，当你告诉我，我是你唯一一个亲近的女性朋友时，不懂怎么的，心里很开心，也许真的好久没体会到这种感觉吧！可是你即将离开了，到时候的我肯定有被打回原形的！怎么办！！我好想把你留在我身边啊！那么有什么事，我都有你这个哥哥给我依靠,那该多好啊！

好久好久我没有哭了，突然之间好像痛苦一场，可是，眼泪怎么也不掉下来！真可恶！

到底我这种烂心情要什么时候才会离开？我真不懂！

有句话说，你笑很多人陪你笑；你哭只有夜深在陪伴你！是真的！我一次又一次的领教过了！！

算了，想那么多也没有用，就让事情顺其自然吧！！

好久没写过那么长的文章了！

烦恼，烦恼，还是烦恼

最近烦恼一直围绕着我，人生真的是有上有下的，以为来到了大学，我就没以前那么的辛苦，至少我能找到知心的朋友，无可否认我认识了好多的朋友，可惜暂时都还没遇到我的信任的，除了我的三位知己，ShuJing, Sheng Rong 和 Raye！我真的很感谢你们的出现！每当我不开心时，你们永远都会听我诉苦，因为你们，我才轻松了多！现在真正的领悟到，大学就是我们迈向社会的第一步！在大学，遇到种种不同性格的人，和不同的人做assignment，也因为这样，渐渐的在磨练着我的脾气，有好有坏！也不懂，当我不发脾气时候，不代表你可以得寸进尺，我只是想留一条后路给彼此。也许别人容忍不到我的脾气，在此我想所谓容忍不到我的人说一声对不起！感谢的到来，让我和我的10年之多的朋友感情也慢慢的在退了！不过，也不能怪谁。因为也许是缘分已尽。算了，我就好好的把我的Foundation Year 给完成吧！就算当中我品尝了，甜酸苦辣，我也好无后悔之义，因为就是你们，让我在成长过程中，变得更成熟！

对！CHANEL CHAN,你一定要更成熟，别败给那些看不起你，欺负你的人！你一定可以！背后还有我敬爱的妈妈，我的宝贝们朋友，谢谢你们的陪伴！我真的好开心我的人生路上有你们！！

突然心血来潮的要用华语来写Blog.最近都很懒blog了，其实也不是，最近好像很多事情发生似的。也不懂是为什么，事情一波接一波的，难道大学生涯真的要如此度过嘛？

对，别再问我为什么不再那么的参他们了，因为我总觉得自己被忽略似的，总觉得自己不受别人欢迎，既然我的存在带给你们那么多的麻烦，那我会自动离开。我不想再这样下去，真的好辛苦！对！我现在的朋友不多，可是我相信我会有更多朋友的！

你！我真的受够了！你真的不懂自己的受欢迎度到哪里嘛？也许我不配批评你，可是我真的忍无可忍，所以我才离开的！你真的认为自己是那么受欢迎的嘛？你自我的性格也太过分了吧？以为大家是朋友所以我才敢麻烦你载我，你以为我开口去问你，自己会好过嘛？你知道这种要依靠别人的心情有多难受嘛？如果没必要，我也不想去麻烦你！你不能帮就直接说，为什么要找那么多的理由来推开我？

在此我想感谢我的SHU JING，无论我怎样，都愿意听我诉苦！真的谢谢你了！感谢你的帮忙！如果不是你，我都不懂自己是如何渡过这些问题的！万分的感谢！

To JLJW,

You always say that I never post thing about you in my blog.Because of this problem, we had been argued again and again.Today I post it to you.Been few days we dint text to each other le, you said that Sem 2 is much more harder than sem 1 for you. So the same for me. But I want you to know that, no matter how,I also will by your side and listen to your problems. I might not help u but at least u tell me is much more better than put in your heart. IMY and ILY, JLJW!

Finally I update my blog

Wed, end my 1st Math class at 1pm.
First time attend Math full of concentrate.
Good Girl.
It been a quite long moment that I dint not update my blog.
Ok,due to my laziness.
Sorry about that.
Well, where should I start my story?
Let's start it after exam.
Back to Ipoh, become the driver of the family, fetching them go anywhere they want.
But I enjoy the moment with Mum.
On Wed, friend called and asked me to work as a part time waitress at O Place.
I had tell him that Okay!
Wah, 1st day work I saw Zhen Hong and his girlfriend.
Paiseh~
Besides that, on the same day, I drop my handphone to the toilet bowl!
Godness!!!
Ask my friend to pick up for me.
Hahaha...
Evil me.
Too bad that the phone cant use anymore.
Heart pain like hell.
On the last day of work, which is Friday, Kalvyn and his big family come to O place.
Lol.This time lagi mati.
But actually nothing happen pun lar...
At the same day, one of my colleuge asked me some questions...
(through writing on a piece of paper)
Him : May I ask you some question ?
Chanel : Ya.
HIm : May I know do you have boyfriend?
Chanel : No
Him : I am so happy to hear about that.
Chanel : ZzZ
Him : Can I have your handphone number?
Chanel : Busy now,got so manyh customers.
Story end till today.
Haha...
The most happy moment is spending my holidays with Kheinee, Andrew, Jauyan, Ah Pith, Kah Wai, Nicole, Yik Woon and Cheng at Genting.
First time can go genting with friends.
Play many different kind of games that I never play when go with Family.
Due to mum wei kao!
Story end.
Actually sitll got many things wanna say.
But let go step by step ba.

Finish Exam

Wow! Finally my Y1S1 had end. so do my exam. I would like to say thank you to Andrew Lam for fetching me back to Ipoh. If not,I might need to take bus back lea.Sob Sob. Hmm...Once reach home I start to feel very lazy. Just want sleep.Hoho...Even feel lazy to blog. Hoho... Anyway, I will update what I had promise to Super Mickey! Haha... Wait ha lar, Sor Poh Mickey!

Dear bloggers, I am sorry that I have been on e month did not update my blog.Actually I do wish to update it every moment, but too bad that I have to face my FINAL EXAM first.I am sorry for that.I have alot of things wanna to tell at here but then I really lack of time.Hmm...Will be back to my blog on the 6th of September.I am sorry with it.

By the way, I would like to wish all the best to all Utarian friends!

Hmm.Sorry for my late update,was busying with my assignment and radioplay.Finally today I can sit down and post up my blog ya.
First,I would like to say that quite happy that my roommate talk to me back.Wee..I love you.
Second, I have finsih all my assignment at last, now only left radioplay and my presentation.Lol.Nervous when mention presentation,need wear formal pulak.Argh!!
Third, today I heard one of my classmate told me that in my group, Y22, got some childish guys putting rumors about me, backstabbing me.What the heck?! Why talk behind me? Talk in front me is better,aren't??

Argh..Stop thinking all those idiot things.Chanel should only remember all those happy memories with friends.Love you all!

Math Quiz

Today have Math Quiz.Owh...Is hard enough for me lo.Too bad, I lazy + stupid = worst result.

Ok,stop thinking about the Math Quiz.Should concentrate in all my assignment and FINAL EXAM!Argh.Think dou also scare jor.I dont want stay one more year at there.

Stop the crap.Lol.Ok,today I feel that myself normal back abit.Thank you to my lovely sister, LAU YEE SUE. Always 24hours on call to comfort me and by my side.Emo together, crazy together, cry togehter.Do everything together.But the bad news is, sister is going to kl soon to work.Wahaha.Then I can go kl liao, mum will let also liao.Hehe..Lol.Sure want sem break only go la. LAU YEE SUE BABE, I WILL MISS YOU ALWAYS!

U Life still remain de same,busy busy busy and busy.Everyday after class either go find lecturer nor attend group discussion.Lol.Thank you for my group members making me more and more hardworking.Love you all so much, and of course wont forget my group Y22 other members ya!About other unhappy things I don't want mention le, I should forget and forgive, besides should change myself also.Chanel ar Chanel !! Change change change!! Ya, CHANGE!!! Unhappy things faster get away from my mind I only welcome HAPPY things. I won't let my enemies got any people go in, but friends list will forever welcome to add in.Hehe.Won't occur any enemies in my life from this moment start. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE FRIEND I KNOW, NO MATTER U HATE ME OR LOVE ME.

Week 9

Another week at UTAR.So fast...Tomorrow will be having Math Quiz,Argh.U Life really not so relax as we think.Lately, I being angry with the stupid idiot fucking line at the house I staying at Kampar now.Dont know which idiot housemate go block downstair line,make most of us could not online.Once the RED WIRA car outside the house,then we sure dont have nice day one!!!Argh!!!Selfish people he is!!!Lately, mood being swing around,up and down.What happen with me?I don't know.Kheinee said this is normal de wor.I don't know.For so long I at UTAR, thank you for Kheinee being by my side.Kheinee, I LOVE YOU!
Chanel ar Chanel, when only your mood will normal back ? Don't know... Aiks.
Time to study for Math Quiz!
All the best to Y22!

U Life

Most of the people say that U life is the most wonderful life that we never happy,but honestly I don't feel so.Why? Is my own problem or other problem? I think is my own problems.I dont know,maybe what my friend said are true."XIONG QU HOU,TONG ZHU NAN",which mean can fun togehter but stay together will be very hard.Ya,everyone have their own lifestyle so do I. I aint a talkative person but at the same time I could not whole day non talk with a person. I dont know should I say having problem with roommate, because I myself also dont know really know what happening around. She just will talk to me when she want to talk. Maybe I really not her world de people ba.I think so. I play when it should play, I serious when it should serious. But the way I am not everyone could accept,this is the fact. Ya, going to change to single room next year. I think I really suit to be in single world. What to do, I am emo girl !

People say U life people will be very friendly, but I dont think so because most of the people I saw everyday also wearing a face,which mean FAKE,including myself. Dont tell me that just dont act fake ar, sorry, not I want but everyone is doing so. This is the true life, I think.

But anyway, I glad to have some wonderful housemate like , SIEW YAN, SENG KEE, SOON KEAT, BENNY and so on. Thank you for you all de caring. and I would like to thank you all my Y22 de classmates for being so friendly with me although I dont know you all are sincere or not but I think you all are using heart to be friend aint like certain people de.

By the way, my beloved gor gor , Clemenn Phoon had created a name for me, VAMBIE CHANEL CHAN.Although he always like to bully me but is a good gor gor also, pamper me alot.Hehe...

I am back

It been a long period I had stop blogging, due to I don't have much time to update myself through blogging and I feel tired with it.Well,finally I have the leave the home and come to a nice place, Kampar. At first, I though I can start my another level of life here.Ya it it,but mostly the sad parts more than the happy parts. Why such things still happen with me? Chanel,should wake up and face the reality of the world. Be independent. Ya,I know that the life I having now is fake, certain people around me is fake too.I know who are they, but I just remain silent. Few of my closest friends ask me why do you still talk to the people who doesn't thought you as a friend? I told them,I prefer have more friends than enemies. During secondary school, we use to hate this one anti that one, but when come college the way we think, the way we do are to the mature way. No more childish childish things.

Chanel want to make herself more independent and mature ! Chanel must be so!