You hurt me again

Again, I discovered that he betray me, this time the actress is his ex.SJ
I still remember clearly that 9th of December, I told him that I went to KL with family,
He said he too, he attending a cousin wedding.All the reasons he told me is doesn't make sense at all.
Finally today I found out that he went to kl is to meet his ex. He lied to me. They change the profile picture together.
You never do so to me. You never request to take picture for me. You never change the profile picture with me. Never. You again and again proof to me that she is much more important to you than me. But you never admit.That night we talked this case in the phone. You told me that i am much more better than her. You don't wish I breakup with you. If yes, then why you choose to hurt me? I don't know when should I trust you when I shouldn't. That night what you talk in the phone, you seem think that I don't angry at all.
No! My heart very pain, until today I still very pain. But what can I do other than wearing a fake smile facing you? Why I could be so stupid and you could be so selfish? If you really can't let go her,tell me directly instead of hurting me again and again. My heart not made by stone ! I got so much things to shout out, but I know that I will make you suffering. In order to let you suffer, let myself suffer everything ba.
I know that you told her that you already breakup with me. You need do until like this? You told me that you don't trust her words. If yes, then why lie to her that we breakup? Or actually I am the 3rd party between both of you? Tell me the truth!!! Don't lie to me again and again. I couldn't stand all this shit happen to me again and again. I am facing all alone. Whenever she make you angry, you will put all your anger to me. Me le? Like a sohai, diam diam let you scold. You really though I know nothing? I just don't have evidence to proof it. I though you will come back to me one day. But fact is fact. You will choose to leave me instead of leave her. I been crying for days, what the hell do you know? You know nothing. You said you need time to settle, i wonder how long it will take. Hopefully don't until I walk away, you only chase me back. But I know you won't chase me back too. Did you really love me deep from your sincere heart before?
Whenever I heard you told people that you are with your girlfriend, do they really know who is your girlfriend? I suspect alot, I think alot, why I be like this? Is all because of your attitude. The first 3 months, we really close to each other, no secret. But after 3 months, nightmares happened, I have phobia.I couldn't sleep well every night.
2 years, 4 more months, we will be knowing each other for 2 years and also together 2 years. From I know you very well till today I know nothing. Why we need end up like this? Like this you will happy ma? I am not happy. But not to destroy your mood, I don't show out. Sometimes you said I show temper to you, but did you stand at my side and think why I will be turning up like this?
You, are the only men let me feel blissful before, but also the only men that hurt me again and again but I still loving you so much. I just wish that you could appreciate my love, I don't have so much time to be by your side le.
My BFF, Yern always mad at me because I keep sacrificing for this guy but he keep hurting me. I know that she want me to be happy, Yern, this man is choose by myself, what can I do with it? Who ask me to love him so deep? I really appreciate that you always be by my side, listen my complaint. Thank you. Give me times to slowly step out from this relationship one day. Or maybe that day will be my wedding with him? Who knows. Everyday, I hoping that he will only put me in his heart. I hope my wish will come true.