Ups' and Downs'

This two weeks there are too much things happen to me. 

First, mum scold me for not paying rental for 4 months.

Second, I met an accident last night (24.11.2012).

And Today, I said break up to him.

The word that I never wanna say out,

But recently I feel that he unhappy, very suffer, like many things troubling him, 

I believe I am one of the trouble too.

"Boy, I really don't want to break up with you. never ever. But you know, whenever i see you unhappy, suffer, and you not willing to tell me, you know how pain is my heart? I feel that I just nothing to you. I doesn't want only share happiness of you, but your sadness too. But why you again and again faced it all by yourself? Why you don't want let me know even it might hurt me? I don't mind, i really don't mind, i just want you be more happy. I never meet a guy like you before, pamper me, love me, care me, worry me, care me, protect me, surprise me. You know, you really the only guy that did so much to me, although you hurt me too.But i never put in heart before.I don't know, if other girls they definitely will put in heart n blame but for me, I really don't mind at all. Although I still got shadow with it, but I told myself that I should trust you or else the relationship will go worst. Boy, do you know my heart? Do you know how important yourself are in my heart? I am regret saying break up but if i don't, you will keep suffer. I don't know what should i do. end up I rather I suffer all alone, living with all the memories you left for me, and hope you happy. I wish one day you will come back to me and saying that you still loving me. Please remember no matter what happen, I will always be here for you till my last breath. I love you"